Ron The Runner

I would love to be able to write a entertaining blog post that everybody raves about, sadly thats just not me. I lead a fairly simply life lately, I work, I sleep, I eat, I run once in awhile, I sleep again...

Just how exciting a spin can I put on that ! I don't travel the world, I haven't climbed Mt Everest. I have just tried to get through the best I can.  After losing my wife I found my focus in fitness and becoming a running. I threw myself into it completely, I lost a ton of weight over 60 pounds. I went from smoking 4 packs a day and not being able to run 1/4 mile to not smoking and running up to 15 miles once a week, 40 miles overall per week. The changes in my health have been dramatic and in my mood as well. Not only was a healthier but was gaining my confidence back, women were suddenly flirting with me again ! How freaking cool is that !!

After having cut myself off from the world for a long time this is a scary step, getting back out there again. There was one woman who was more persistent then the others and eventually I started talking with her. Going from just a smiling face I saw everyday to someone I knew. Learning about her family etc..

It has been nice getting to know someone again, just hearing about her family and things she has been going through makes me feel less alone. Not that it has all been easy after the first time we spent anytime together having a nice talk that night I went home and had a dream she was in the hospital with cancer dying...

I pressed on and we kept talking learning more about each other, I told her about my wife and showed her pictures. Eventually she asked me out, I don't think that has ever happened to me before !

After so long alone, not talking to anyone in RL talking to her was addictive, I couldn't get enough. it was all I thought about. the next time talking to her, what would I say and so on...

My Fitness has suffered and stress has started to take over. Last week I was nearly at the breaking point, I had a stress headache so bad it wiped me out for the day. It's nothing she has done she has been fantastic, I think its just my fears of getting close to someone again.

I have taken a time out, haven't seen her in a few days, settled my nerves down and thought things through. I am going to re-focus my efforts on fitness and try and find a balance between the two. The running is a great stress reliever and I desperately need that back! I don't want to give up on this relationship, but I can't allow it to consume me the way it has been..